Worth the Cost--January 31, 2025
"If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it. Now you are all the body of Christ and individually members of it." (1 Corinthians 12:26-27)
The cost of loving people is that it will mean hurting when they are hurting. The joy of loving people is that it will mean sharing in their joy when they are joyful, too. That's the price of the ticket, and there's no way of getting out of the cost side of the ledger if you are a part of a community bound in love--which the community of Jesus absolutely is.
In other words, if your approach to life is just keeping yourself withdrawn and disconnected from everybody else in the hopes that you won't ever be hurt or suffer, be warned right now that Christianity is not the faith for you. You can feel free to try to invent your own religion where you cut off from everybody else so that you don't have to care about the pains of others, but that in no way looks like the way of Jesus, which always leads us beyond comfortable insulation to the risk of empathy in community.
Ask anybody who has lived in such genuine community and they'll tell you it is absolutely worth the price of admission. But they will also tell you for certain that being a part of genuine Christian community is not for the faint of heart, because it will mean sharing the sufferings of others alongside learning to be happy for someone else's happiness, even if it doesn't directly affect you. And none of that is easy.
All of this is to say that belonging in the community called "church" will always take us beyond our comfort zones, because it will always mean venturing into the experience of others--and in particular, practicing the empathy of trying to understand someone else's sorrow even when it is not personally your own. That's the real challenge of the body metaphor Paul has been using here in First Corinthians, in this passage we heard last Sunday: if one part of the body is in pain, the whole suffers, even if it's only the stubbed toe or bumped elbow that endured the injury. The nerves in my eye don't start to hurt because I scraped my knee--but my eyes do indeed well up with tears, over a pain they do not directly experience. My nose does indeed start to sniffle, and my voice does indeed start to break when I'm in pain. And in the Christian community, at least part of what Paul's "body of Christ" metaphor means is that I will be moved to cry out when someone else in the community is suffering. I cannot pretend that their pain leaves me untouched, at least not without denying that we are both part of a body larger than ourselves. But that will also mean that I may have to learn how to understand someone else's heartache or woundedness even if it is not first nature to me.
So, for example, if I learn that other people in my community are really distraught and I can't understand why, I have some homework to do--to ask, to listen, and to hear from their perspective what is making their hearts heavy, and to share that pain with them. And if someone else is feeling overwhelmed by depression, our calling is not to try to argue them out of it (as in, "But here are all these reasons to be happy! Doesn't that cheer you up?") but to acknowledge the weight of what they are feeling, to honor it by listening to them, and only from there to talk together about how you will accompany them through it. And on the other hand, if someone is joyful about something that you don't feel particularly excited about, it can be very easy to just become bitter or resentful about the good thing that happened to them, rather than to practice (and it is indeed a practice) being happy for their sake about the new job, the new relationship, the book they loved, or the bright spot in their lives. But all of these are part of our life as the body of Christ--going beyond the bounds of just my own immediate experience to share in the joys and sorrows of those around me.
Today's calling, then, is to step outside of the relatively comfortable zone of our own personal experience and to enter someone else's in order to divide their sorrows or multiply their joys. That will mean a lot of listening, and quite frankly, it will mean being willing to feel awkward or humbled when other people share their stories and emotions that are outside of our personal experience. It might also mean that the preconceived notions, prejudices, and cookie cutter molds we have tried to put other people in just prove themselves to be unhelpful, and we will have to get to know people as they really are, in all their complexity and sometimes their messiness, rather than as the cardboard cutouts and stereotypes we have too often settled for. And once we do get to know someone else's perspective and their pain, the additional challenge is not to run away from those, but to shoulder them alongside the whole community of Jesus. Like the Decemberists' lyric goes, "A neighbor's blessed burden within reason becomes a burden borne of all and one."
Like I say, anyone who has participated in genuine community knows it means taking others' sorrows into our own hearts, as well as celebrating their joys with them. But anyone who has done that at all will also surely tell you it is worth the cost of loving.
It is worth it, after all, to Christ, who has shared all of our suffering as his own.
Lord Jesus, give us the courage to share in others' sorrows, and make us brave enough to learn empathy.