Disregarding Frank

Disregarding Frank--January 13, 2017

"We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people's trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..." [Ephesians 4:14-15]

No disrespect to Old Blue Eyes, but I do not believe there's any phrase that rings in my ears more childishly than the two-word exclamation, "My way!"

Goodness gracious, even just typing that phrase and reading the words on the screen makes me scowl.  In these days of having a five-year-old and a three-year-old running around our house, I am getting used to hearing that kind of talk plenty.  "Don't zip my coat like THAT--I'm doing it MY WAY!"  "No, don't put the ranch dressing THERE on my plate--I'm going to squirt it on exactly a quarter-inch to the right of where you wanted it--I'm going to do it MY WAY!"  "You can't tell me to wash my hands before dinner--I'm doing this (wait for it... wait for it) MY WAY!"

The kicker, to my ears, in all of this "My way!" stuff from my own kids is that my children have no consistent principles as to why they want their coat zipped one way today, or the ranch dressing where they want it, or their hands unwashed--it's just sheer, petulant, childish self-absorption.  And because there is no inner logic to it, other than plain old immature selfishness, they will end up saying contradictory things from day to day, yet pronouncing them with fiery certainty that they have always thought that way.  (If I point out to my daughter, for example, that yesterday, or even literally five minutes ago, she wanted help with putting her shoes on, but at this instant she is in a mood to do it herself, well, she gives me this intensely serious look in her eyes like the world depends on her next words, and she says defiantly, "No, Daddy!  I don't want your help!"  If I offer her ketchup for her tater tots at dinner, which she begged and pleaded for last time, she may well be in a mood today to say, "No!  I never liked ketchup!" if it doesn't feel like she is getting "her way" in the moment.  There is no consistency with such childish logic--there is only the repeated shouting for "my way."

Now, in all fairness to my children... they are five and three.  This is the age for petulant selfishness masquerading as independence.  This is the time of their lives for being ridiculously inconsistent, and just lumping all of their contradictions together in a pile and chalking them up to childish hypocrisy.  That's part of childishness.... which is part of childhood.  We don't have to be proud of the fact that each of us went through that phase... but we probably should all at least admit we did have that phase.

The real trouble comes if we never leave it.

It's bearable, maybe even an inescapable part of development, for my young children to have the words, "My way!" on their lips so often.  But coming from the mouth of an adult?  Well, for my money, there is nothing more sad and pathetic than hearing Frank Sinatra try to give some dignity to that petulant creed, "I did it my way!"  It's almost like Old Blue Eyes doesn't hear the audience all laughing at him when he sings such a childish anthem without a hint of irony in his voice.

Children may be childish as a part of growing up.  But the New Testament calls us to wake up and snap out of it.  We are called to a way of life beyond the random whims and bundle of contradictions that get justified under the heading, "My way!" We are called to see through the snake-oil sellers, liars and hucksters telling us things we want to hear so that we can try and cling to the idol of "my way." We are called to keep on course in the face of the countervailing current--as the letter to the Ephesians puts it, to keep from being "tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine" that tells us what we want to hear.  Followers of Jesus are called to a different way of living and thinking--one that is consistent in the self-giving love of God, rather than the contradictory whims of the day that children feel.  It is God's intention to grow us all... to be like Jesus.  It is God's mission, God's project, to pull each of us beyond the childishness of "My way!" and all the winds that blow every which way in the name of "My way!", and to turn our sails instead into the consistent wind from the Spirit, who always and without fail leads us in the direction of love for the other, mercy for the brokenhearted, embrace for the excluded, and restoration for those who have been stepped on.  We are led, always, consistently, and faithfully, to give ourselves away in love the way Jesus did.  We are drawn, like we are being pushed by an unrelenting breeze, toward the path of servanthood and humility, of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Again, to my ears it's almost comical the way Sinatra used to sing the supposed glories of doing things "my way" and scorning "the one who kneels", when the way of Jesus rises above the childish contradictions of "my way" and at the same time kneels low to wash the feet of all... even Judas.  Jesus would never be caught dead singing the lyrics to "My Way," and instead his resurrection power keeps offering itself to others, and his Spirit keeps offering an alternative wind than the unreliable "winds of doctrine" of those voices out there that just say things we want to hear.  To be frank about it (no pun intended... well, maybe a little), Christians will not have the song of Sinatra in their ears, because they are learning to disregard Frank in order to listen to Jesus. 

Maybe this whole journey of the Christian life is lived out as an exercise in disregarding Frank, and instead listening to the needs of our neighbor.

So today, hear the New Testament offer us two ways of driving the point home:  instead of being like immature children who will hold any side in an argument they like if it seems to suit them at the moment in their pursuit of "my way," we are called to be mature grown-ups who put God's Kingdom priorities ahead of whatever might be momentarily good for my self-interest.  And then the other picture to get the same idea across: instead of being like a boat that gets knocked around by winds that blow in every direction and don't get us anywhere, let us allow the Spirit to blow like the winds at creation, to fill our sails, and to lead us in a new direction. 

Either way, the dare in front of us is to move beyond the childish whims that come with the refrain, "My way!" and instead to learn to pray--yes, even kneeling--"Not my will, but yours, O God, be done.  Not my way, but yours, O God, be my path."

Let's start the new day mature enough to be done with singing Sinatra at his worst, and instead to pick up the strains of the Kingdom's song as we turn our sails to be filled with God's Spirit.

Lord God, NOT my way.  Not MY way.  Not my WAY. But yours, yours, yours.... into love and justice for all.