If You Have Had Enough--August 28, 2020"To you I lift up my eyes,
It's okay to be weary. It's ok to tell God that you are.
It's okay to tell God you are worn down and threadbare in your soul.
It's okay if the only words you can find to bring to God are, "I've had enough of it all."
Look, the writers of the Bible, like the poet praying in this psalm, all give us permission for that kind of stark honesty with God. And if all you can muster as you look up to the heavens is, "Help me out--I'm dying here!" well, here is the example of one of our ancestors in the faith. We have been given the words of this and so many other ancient songs of lament to borrow and to make our own.
I know that a psalm like this may not seem very cheery. That's ok. Sometimes the point of passages like this from the Scriptures is the freedom we find in being able to be honest about how worn down we are. There are a lot of times when life itself isn't particularly cheery.
And there are times it is especially difficult to be in one of those dark valleys when others look at you and can only hear complaining they cannot understand. "I've never had that problem," they say, "so it must not be a real burden." Or it goes, "I've never heard of that," or "I don't see it," or "But you look fine." Or you'll hear the voices whisper, "This was never a problem I ever heard anybody make a fuss about before--why is this an issue now?" You get the sense that the psalmist here knows what that's like--that's what it means to feel like your soul has had "more than its fill of the scorn of those who are at ease." And, of course, that's the height of privilege, isn't it--to believe that because something isn't an issue to you that it must not be an issue for anybody else. Well, the psalmist knows what it's like to have the privileged look down on you or think you are being overly dramatic. When others can't understand your pain, they have a way of assuming it isn't real, when in actuality they're the ones deficient in empathy. But it still hurts you all the same to be dismissed like that, doesn't it?
So this is a prayer for people who have been in that weary place, that tired place, that place that is exhausted from caring, from struggling, from trying to do right in the world, and having others still not get it. And if you have been in that place--or maybe, if you are there right now, tired of the non-stop rottenness around us in the world, and feeling ready to just quit--there is life to be found in a prayer like this one. The life comes, first, from being able to say out loud to God all the things that weary you, like the poet does in this psalm. That's powerful all by itself, because as we bring things to God, there's no need to brace yourself for criticism or counterattacks. God doesn't add scorn to your weariness, and God doesn't belittle or shrug off the pain we feel. But also, there's life to be found in these words because God is committed to being on the side of restoration for the weary, the side of lifting up those who have been stepped on, the side of lifting up the bruised reed and carefully tending the flickering flame so its light will not be lost.
And the psalmist here knows that--he prays without pulling punches, getting right to his need. And it boils down to this: "God, I look to you the same way a servant-girl looks to the matriarch of the house for help, and I need help. I'm worn down, and I need rest. So help me. Just help me. Show me mercy, because I am just about ready to give up." There is no promise of offering future sacrifices in return for help today. There is no pleading on the basis of past good behavior, as if God owes it to the one praying to help. There is simply the weariness itself--the weariness of tying to do right in a world where it seems rottenness runs amok, and the weariness of bearing with others who can't understand why you're worn down. And on the basis of that weariness itself, the voice praying trusts that God will be moved to help.
So today, if you find yourself in that place of exhaustion, for whatever reason (and there are a lot of reasons these days), then hear these words offered up for you: it is ok to be tired. It is ok to be ready to give up. It is ok to feel like the burden of it all is too much to bear. And at the same time, the good you do in the world is worth it. The time and energy you take to show love, to offer forgiveness, to speak truth, to serve a stranger, to help lift someone else's spirits--these are blessed gifts you make possible, and the world would be the poorer without you. Take the time and the space to catch your breathe, to rest, to be restored. Because we need your voice when you are ready once again--we need it to speak compassion, to shout for joy with someone else's celebration, to weep with another person's sorrow, to call for justice for those who are wronged, and to raise questions of the greedy, the militaristic, and the proud. We need your voice, your fire, your love. But everything in its time, weary beloved one. Everything in its time.
And on the other hand, if you find yourself doing fine but you know someone else around you is weary like the psalmist here, then maybe your calling is to speak those words of permission and affirmation to them. Maybe you will be the reason someone else can carry on when they were on the verge of giving up. Maybe you will be the way God shows mercy to another soul that has had more than its fill of heaviness. Maybe you will be God's gift of renewal for someone who is exhausted. Maybe you will be the agent of a little resurrection today.
Either way, the God who is mercy will be busy today, giving rest, giving peace, giving life.
Lord God, we are tired. Renew us. For your mercy's sake, help us in our weariness, this whole tired world. Bring us to life.
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