Not Listening to Your Heart--September 2, 2020

 Not Listening to Your Heart--September 2, 2020

"And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." [1 John 3:19-20]

So there's some good news, and there's some bad news. The bad news is that you are not the final judge of things, even in your own life. But now the good news: you are not the final judge of things, even in your own life. Yes, this is one of those times when the good news and the bad news are one and the same. Admitting that none of us is the final authority or gets final say over the worth of our lives comes across like bad news. I like to be in charge of things. I like to be in control, and I like to think that the buck stops with me. 

This is one of the bedrock beliefs of our individualized culture, too--that you are the judge of things in your own life. If you want to know "the truth," you should "look in your heart," according to countless movies, TV shows, and other voices in our society. "Search your feelings, and you will know it is true," say the Jedi masters again and again in the Star Wars movies, in the writers' attempt to make them sound profound and mystical. It's all sort of a recycling of the old "Let your conscience be your guide," advice from Pinocchio, which is a fine sentiment, except that our consciences are not fixed and permanent things, but are shaped by what we feed them. So in our day, "Let your conscience be your guide" has steadily devolved into, "If you can find a way to live with something, it must be OK," and on the other hand, "If you can't shake the guilt you feel about something, you must deserve it." After all, those are the consequences if you make "listening to your heart" the final judge over yourself. 

So now you can understand why it's such bad news--at first listen--to hear John say so boldly that God is greater than our hearts, and that in fact, our hearts are not the final arbiter of right and wrong. If God is an authority beyond what I feel about things, then it might be that God says no to me or things I want, even if I have rationalized them to myself, or "searched my feelings" and decided it was OK with me. "My heart" may have told me that I really should go after a life of endless consumption, bigger houses, nicer cars, and a white picket fence and an insulated suburban world where I do not have to care about the needs of my neighbor. "My heart" might have even given that a lovely name to hang on that picture--the American dream. But if God is really "greater than our hearts." God can reserve the right to overturn what my feelings say and hold out a different path, a deeper hope. God can expose what my heart thought it wanted as shallow or fleeting or empty.  God can reveal that the picture of "happiness" I had been chasing was a shallow mirage, in order to call me to something deeper, something fuller, something more than endorphins in my system. God can dethrone my heart, in other words. That's the bad news of hearing that I--and my heart--do not get to be the final judge of things, even in my own life. 

But like I said, that is also the good news, because it is just as possible that our hearts will condemn us, judge us guilty, and beat us up, when God would acquit us and set us free unharmed. John reminds us that even when our hearts cannot let go of past failures, past sins, God is able to let go of those sins, and their memory. In fact, God already has. God has set aside the sins we don't know how to let go of, and has determined not to count them against us. The thoughtless words you spoke that you cannot put back in your mouth but are still ringing in your ears; the selfish indifference when I turned away from someone else in need; the times we have put the desire for accumulating more stuff above the hunger of my neighbor; the ways we have let our loves be flaky and fickle--they are all baggage that our hearts are unable to let go of. They keep reminding us of places we have fallen short--and if our hearts really get on a roll, they can whisper to us that we could never really be acceptable, lovable, or blessed of God. Our hearts can tell us we are hopeless cases, and leave us with clenched souls, unable to let go of what we cannot change, and unable to hear the word of forgiveness from God. 

It is precisely in moments like these that it is good news to know that I am not the judge of my own life, and that God overrules the authority of my heart every time. And God has determined to see us in the light of Jesus, who has put away all the marks against us. God has let go of all the things that our hearts have a hard time letting go of. God forgives what our hearts can keep beating us up about, and if it comes to a contest, God can win out over our hearts every time. 

That, John says, is our reassurance. The love of God is ours because God says so, regardless of whether we feel like it or whether our hearts can grasp it. That is an assurance we can lean on today when we need it... and chances are, we will. 

So here's some good news to take with you in this day--you don't have to listen to your unreliable, fickle, easily fooled heart.  You can trust God's--and God says you are beloved.

Lord God, rule our hearts, so that they will beat in time with the rhythm of your Kingdom--no longer deluding ourselves with our own selfish desires, but also no longer dragging ourselves down with guilt for sins you have already forgiven and put away.