On Not Being First--January 11, 2021

On Not Being First--January 11, 2021

"He [Christ] himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything." [Colossians 1:17-18]

There's a wise man I know who has taken to woodworking since his retirement, and he has imparted this truth to me on more than one occasion.  When he finishes a project and still can see a blemish, a flaw, or a mistake in his handiwork, he says with a sense of peace and acceptance, "Only God is perfect."

It's beautiful to hear him say it, because I hear in that sense both a recognition that he doesn't need to try to pretend he is perfect, and also maybe a reminder that nobody else around is, either.  There's a sort of freedom to be what we are that way--we can quit pretending we'll never make mistakes, and we can quit striving for the Number 1 spot on the list of excellence, because that only belongs to God.  That same freedom allows my wise friend to give what he has made to someone as a gift--a table, a chair, a set of shelves or bookends, or whatever--without constantly holding it back to work on it just a little bit more to see if he can get it "perfect."  No, if we were all waiting for our gifts to be perfect, none would ever be given." Only God is perfect" means that I can stop trying to make folks think I am, and that I can abandon the attempt to be better than God.  

I've been thinking of that notion as I read these couple verses from Colossians, because I think there is a similar wisdom in these words.  Here the apostles insists that Christ is first... in everything.  Christ is chronologically first, in that he existed prior to the foundation of the universe.  He is first in order of importance, in that he as "first place in everything," by virtue of his resurrection.  And he is first as the foundation of all of our existence--that is, without the God we know in Christ, we would cease to exist.  My being is dependent on Christ much like my existence depends on the existence of electrons, protons, gravity, and Higgs bosons--without their existence, I couldn't exist, either, since they are the "stuff" I am made of.  In all of these ways, from all of these perspectives, the apostle says, Christ gets first place.  

And here's the rub: if Christ is first, I am not.  If Christ is first, then I don't have permission to put something or someone else as the most important, most foundational, or most non-negotiable priority in my life.  Rather like my wise friend saying, "Only God is perfect," recognizing that "Christ is first" tells me that I don't get to occupy his spot, and I don't get to put anything else in his place, either.

Think for a moment about the clarity that brings me.  If Christ is first, then I don't get to put myself or my group's agenda before him.  I don't get to say, "Me and My Group First!" as a logical principle of life, because Christ has occupied that spot--and he insists on putting others' interests above his own.  I don't get to say that some other abstract concept gets higher priority than Christ, either--I don't have permission to say, "Well, sure, Jesus would have me to X here, but that's not convenient for the advantage of my political party!" or "Yes, I know Jesus would want me to set aside my rights or convenience for the sake of someone else, but... but... freedom!"  I don't get to say that the way of Jesus can be set aside in the pursuit of getting my group's interests advanced or to get my political party to hold onto power--because those are all ways of saying Jesus really isn't first, he's only in whatever position is convenient for me at the time.  Nope--if we believe what Colossians says, we don't get to say, "Christ first!" when that suits my wishes and then, "Party first!" or "Country first!" or "The bottom line first!" when that seems better.  The letter of Colossians has gone to great lengths to insist that there is no category, no time, and no situation in which Christ does not occupy first place.

Maybe the real question is whether we are willing to take that seriously.  Because among a lot of Respectable Religious Folk I know, we kind of pay lip service to the idea of putting Christ first.  We like the idea of saying, "Christ first" when we see him as our mascot that we can use to put ourselves above other people like we are bragging about whose football team won.  We like the idea of thinking we can invoke "Christ first" to assume he endorses our agendas like the folks setting up crosses alongside the gallows they were erecting on the Capitol grounds last week, as if to say, "We have God on our side, and our attempt to intimidate people with the threat of executing our opponents has Jesus' guarantee of success, because you know, Christ is first!"  We like the idea of saying "Christ first" if we think it means that we get to occupy that same first-place spot and find ourselves calling the shots because we have merely mouthed the name Jesus.  

But that's not what this means.  These verses from Colossians say that if Christ is first, then... I'm not.  If Christ is first, no political party or economic philosophy or personal agendas come before him.  Nothing and no one gets to be more essential--not politicians, not a nation-state, not even abstract concepts like "success" or "winning" or "greatness."  No, if Christ is first, then those things can't be the be-all-end-all.

And yet--and this is the real divine comedy of it all--Jesus himself was the one who always insisted that in the Reign of God, "the first shall be last and the last shall be first."  Jesus' way of being first in all things was in fact to put himself last, and to lift up the least, the lost, and the left-behind.  It's safe to say that Christ is first without that becoming a giant ego-trip for Christ, because he's committed to overturning our understanding of first-ness and last-ness anyway.  What does he tell his followers in Mark's Gospel?  "Whoever wants to be great must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first must be slave of all--for the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45).  Jesus is constantly taking our old notions of what it means to be "first" and turning them inside-out.  Instead of demanding special treatment because he is most important, he puts the needs of others before his own--that is Jesus' kind of "being first."  And that's what makes Jesus different than all the long line of history's kings, emperors, autocrats, and other would-be leaders who call themselves "first."  Jesus understands that his being first is what puts him in the role of last--to serve those he loves.  The bullies and blowhards of history have it all backwards--they bellow about being first and most important, as though they are the end in and of themselves.

Jesus, in a sense, is the only one who can be trusted to be in the position of first place--because he is the one who doesn't abuse that to feed his own ego or take advantage of the rest of us.  

Today, our calling is to remember that we ain't first: Christ Jesus is.  And that means the question for us at every turn today is not, "What will help Me and My Group's Interests most?" or "What will advance my political cause or help my party?" but rather, "What can I do that most reflects the love, the truth-telling, the decency, and the goodness of Jesus?"  

And at the same time, we are freed: freed from the never-ending rat-race style competition the world is still playing to be "first."  We don't have to play that game, because we are done trying to make ourselves first.  We know the good news: Christ is first above all else--and because of who Christ is, his way of being first means willingness to be last.  

If only God is perfect, I can quit pretending that I am already perfect.  And if Christ is first, I can be done with the wrong-headed quest to put Me and My Group's wants first, too. It all belongs to Christ, and that is good news.

Lord Jesus, free us from the futile burden of putting ourselves first, and give us the freedom of letting you be first of all, in your beautiful, upside-down way.