"Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law." [Romans 13:8-10]
It is a good and beautiful thing to be loved in this life; that is for sure. But the other side of the equation is a gift of grace, too: it is a good and beautiful thing to be allowed to love others, too, in this life. And it is one we too easily take for granted.
It's worth remembering that, especially when we hear the phrase "love your neighbor" in the context of being a commandment. Commandments, of course, are not optional. They are rules. They are requirements. And we often bristle, especially we often-pridefully independent Americans, at the idea of anybody telling us what we have to do. So when we hear a commandment like "Love your neighbor," even if it is a good and beautiful commandment, there's some part of each of us that wants to grumble like a petulant child and say, "Why do I have to?"
Commandments are "have-to" statements, right? We don't ever think of them as "get-to" statements. But maybe it is worth spending a moment to recover the gift and the grace it is to be allowed to show love to others in this life. Because if we take those moments and opportunities for granted, we will find ourselves missing them later if we have to go without them for a time. And we will have been the lesser for it.
Maybe you already have a sense of what I mean. We who lived through the COVID pandemic remember what it was like to feel like we were missing the chance to give hugs... or to have coffee with friends at a cafe and really get to listen to one another... or to visit at a hospital... or to weep at a funeral. Maybe some of those aren't particularly "fun," but when you have the chance to show up for people as an expression of love, it is exactly where you need to be, and you wouldn't have it otherwise. And when we cannot offer those gestures, or have those conversations, we miss being able to give them as much as others may miss having our presence to give them.
And beyond the pandemic, maybe you know what it is like, too, to feel the privilege of being allowed to be the one to help a friend move... or to paint their walls with them in a home improvement project... or to pick them up at the airport... or to wait with them in an Emergency Department. Maybe you know what it is like to get to help a child who is scared... or to bring a smile to someone who is homebound and doesn't get many visitors. Maybe you know what it is like to offer some small gesture of kindness and see that it means the world to the person who receives it. And in those moments, you realize that loving your neighbor isn't mere drudgery. It's not a "have-to" kind of chore--it is a "get-to" kind of honor.
And we find that when we are given the chance--the utter privilege--of being allowed to love other people, we are more fully alive ourselves.
That has a certain urgency if you think about it. Maybe living through those times when we couldn't be around people taught us that these blessed opportunities to show love are not "owed" to us--we are not "entitled" to them; but they are grace, and it is a damned shame to waste those chances to love. We may not always have them.
I am reminded of an observation of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who learned the truth of these words himself when we was separated from his community and family and loved ones when he was imprisoned by the Nazis for resisting Hitler. Bonhoeffer wrote: "It is easily forgotten that the community of Christians is a gift of grace from the kingdom of God, a gift that can be taken away from us any day.... Therefore, let those who until now have had the privilege of living a Christian life together with other Christians praise God's grace from the bottom of their hearts. Let them thank God on their knees and realize: it is grace, nothing but grace, that we are still permitted to live in the community of Christians today." That's just it. Something--anything, almost--can happen in this life and the chances we had to show love may vanish, whether for a season or forever. Any chance you get to show love to others is worth taking. Any opportunity to do good to a neighbor is worth the effort. Honestly, at the end of my life, I don't think I'll look back saying, "I wish I hadn't been there for my friends when they needed me in the hospital waiting room... or on the ride to the airport... or making messes of ourselves helping on a project." I don't think I'll wish to have spent those hours watching more television or making more money. I won't want to have read less to my kids or gotten more naps in. It is worth it, right now, to take the opportunities we are given to love.
That's not just the fulfillment of "the law" as Paul notes; it's the fulfillment of life itself.
Lord God, don't let us waste our chances to love others today.
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