Worse than Cussin'--October 16, 2020

 Worse Than Cussin'--October 16, 2020

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.  If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." [Romans 12:17-18]

It wasn't the profanity.  It was the sociopathy.

Honestly, when I found myself behind a truck the other day whose bumper sticker proudly brandished a four-letter word as part of its tagline to support a particular political candidate, it wasn't the potty talk that caught my attention.  It was the rest of the slogan that broke my heart.  There, below the candidate's name were three words in clear white text: "F--- your feelings." And what absolutely disappoints me about our common life together isn't use of four-letter words (although that is indeed a separate conversation and reason for disappointment), but the default assumption that the feelings, needs, or perspectives of others don't matter.  It wasn't the casual cussing--it was the casual hatred that brought me up short.

Look, don't get me wrong--I'm not happy that we are living in a time where I have to be careful where I drive with my kids in the car for fear of them reading yard signs and bumper stickers that are all plastered with words we have told them are inappropriate for them to say and then having them ask me, "Why is it OK for our neighbor to say it?"  But long ago, I made my peace with the reality that some folks' vocabulary are as rough as as corn cob, and I have to know when a situation calls for coarse language, and when it doesn't.  (And always in the back of my mind are the words of my grandfather, who used to say that using profanity is a sign that a person is either not intelligent enough or articulate enough to find another way to say something.  But I know nobody is going to hell for their bad language.) Even though people are constantly apologizing for their language when they realize they've let a bit of potty talk slip out in the presence of the preacher, I've heard all of it before.  That doesn't surprise or shock scandalize me. It wasn't the pearl-clutching profanity, but the willful, consciously hateful self-centeredness that the bumper sticker (and its owner) were modeling for the world that cut me to the quick.

And what was so disappointing was how completely, diametrically opposed that way of thinking is from the way Christians are called to see the world.  From the first decades of the Christian community, we have been taught to do exactly the opposite of the bumper sticker's advice.  We are called precisely to consider the feelings of others, the needs of others, and the perspectives of others.  That doesn't mean we will always agree with others (obviously), and sometimes we need to be able to say loudly and clearly where the lines drawn by our convictions fall.  But we are still called to frame our thinking, always, in terms of, "How will this affect others?  How will this either build other up or tear others down? How will this show Christ for the world?"  Or as Paul put it once to the Romans, "Never answer someone's rottenness toward you with rottenness of your own, but instead consider what everyone will regard as being noble and decent, and respond that way."  That wasn't limited just toward our conduct toward other Christians, and it wasn't given with exceptions for "When I don't feel like it" or "When it's hard" or "When it's on my car, truck, or chariot."  As followers of Jesus, our orientation is always meant to be outward to include the needs and feelings of others, not limited solely to ourselves.  

And in fact, contrary to the conventional wisdom of bumper stickers and yard signs everywhere, the ability to consider other people's feelings and needs is actually what reveals your strength, not your weakness.  It is not weak to have empathy. It is not cowardly to consider how your words and actions affect others.  It is not a sign of being a loser when you put the interests of others before your own.  At least not for the followers of Jesus.  For us who name the name of Jesus, empathy shows you are strong enough to share someone else's suffering with them.  For us who follow Christ, the choice to be kind reveals the depth of your character.  For us who are striving to reflect the character of God into the world, the "who-cares-about-your-feelings" attitude isn't a sign of being a winner--it's a sign of being a pompous jerk.  And what breaks my heart is that these things should be obvious to us--this isn't some complicated mystery of faith like the Trinity or the divinity of Christ, and it's not something that Christians are split on historically, like how many sacraments there are or what the right way to baptize is.  Love for others has been the hallmark of a Christian understanding of strength and character for twenty centuries, and yet we live in a time where a terrifying number of voices around us are actively teaching us--and our children--not to care about others or their feelings.  And they are doing it proudly, from the loud voices on our screens to the stark messages on the backs of vehicles in traffic.

Look, I get it that in the final weeks of an election season, everybody feels keyed up to pull out all the stops to get their candidates elected.  I get it that everybody feels passionately, and believe me, I have plenty of angst pent up inside me these days, too.  But there is going to come a point where this election cycle is over, and we are still going to need to live with each other. There is going to come a point where we have to be neighbors and live with one another.  There is going to come a point, too, when I will have to have a face to face conversation with Jesus and take responsibility to own up to every word that I have spoken, every action that I have taken, and every choice that I have made.  And, past the fuss over four-letter words, I can't imagine having to tell Jesus I actively encouraged, supported, or taught others in his name not to care about others or their feelings.  I just can't do that.

So, if you are still reading, please hear me now.  This is more than a mere call to election-season civility.  This is more than just a pastor shaming people for cuss-words on their cars.  It's about the rottenness in our hearts, and about how willing we are becoming to let that rottenness advertise in our lives if we think it will upset someone with different politics from yours.  This is about the kind of people we are, deep down, and what attitudes we allow to take root in our deepest selves--not just in late October of an election year, but all of our lives long, and for the generations that are watching us.  I will have wasted my life if at the end of it, all I can say is, "I never cared about anybody else's feelings, because I'm free to be a jerk to everyone!"  But if any one of us has helped shape someone else's heart to lead them to consider the needs and feelings of others rather than just their own, that will have been worth a lifetime of bearing with the disappointment and heartache of seeing such meanness around us.

The world needs your decency today.  Future disciples need your example, in words and actions, of going out of your way to consider the feelings of others, not to dismiss them.  And, I suspect, the face in the mirror needs you to be the kind of person you can look in the eye and say, "I lived my life in ways that Jesus is proud of."

In the face of so much unbridled self-centeredness and raw hatred, be a light of difference today, even when that hatred is aimed your direction and right in front of your face.  Or, as the apostle once put it, "Do not repay evil with evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all."

Good Lord, help us to use our lives and this day, this moment even, to consider the needs and feelings of others rather than only our own.  Let us love like you.