The Right Question--September 1, 2022
"Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a virgin marries, she does not sin. Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away." [1 Corinthians 7:25-31]
Did you ever debate, two days before you are supposed to leave on vacation, whether to buy more milk or not? You know that mental calculus you do, standing in the dairy section of your grocery store, trying to figure out whether you and your household will actually use or drink another full or half gallon in the days you have before you will be away, and whether it would be a waste to buy it now? Or, on the other hand, have you ever come home from vacation after having left old milk in the fridge, and now it's gone bad, and your refrigerator smells sour because you hadn't planned in light of being away for a week or two and leaving old dairy products behind?
I know those are pretty low stakes--at most, you've wasted a few dollars on unconsumed milk, and maybe you've got a science experiment fermenting in your fridge. But I want to use that experience as a bit of a thought experiment. In a scenario like that, the question, "Is it morally wrong to buy milk two days before vacation?" isn't very helpful. It's not a matter of whether it is "sinful" to buy milk, but rather we need different language. We need to ask the question of whether it is a wise or good choice for you, the real actual you and not some hypothetical abstract "potential consumer", to put the plastic jug in your cart.
And that decision depends on a couple of factors: how many people are in your household, how many of them are milk drinkers, how many meals between now and your departure are going to involve milk as an ingredient, and how big a deal it would be to you if you have to clean out a sour smelling fridge when you get back if you accidentally forget to use it all before you leave on your trip. Even the question of how long you'll be away is a part of the mental math. Those variables are going to be different for different people. So while you can certainly be "pro-milk" in your house and think milk is a good and nutritious source of calcium, protein, and other nutrients, you might still decide not to get some if you are about to leave town for two weeks. On the other hand, you can certainly be firmly "anti-waste" and determined not to give in to our culture of disposability and endless consumption, but still think, "Yeah, the kids are going to want milk on their cereal for the next few mornings," and choose to buy some to use up before your trip. Neither is sinful, and neither is the absolute "right" or "wrong" choice. It's more about what is wise in your set of circumstances.
Okay, this is all clearly not just about milk, though. Paul has been looking at how we inhabit our social situations as Christians in this section. And that has included things like those who were enslaved, those who were married to non-Christians, and those whose spouses had died. So now the question turns to single people--those who are not married and never have been, and whether it is a good idea or not for them to pursue marriage. And again, much to the chagrin of the religious-bookstore-and-Christian-publishing industry, the apostle himself doesn't actually seem as interested in making sure everybody gets paired up in romantic relationships as a lot of "inspirational" writers would have us believe. Paul doesn't say, "Yes, you had better get married, because that's God's intention for all people." Neither does he say, "It's Adam and Eve in the Bible, not Adam staying single and Eve staying single, so you all need to pair-up if you want to live biblically." Rather, he says almost the opposite: you don't have to be partnered with somebody else in order to fully live the Christian way of life--and if you are married, you have taken on a lot more distress in life.
But Paul's reasoning underneath that is maybe just now becoming clear. As he says in today's passage, and as he'll go further in the next several verses, too, "the present form of this world is passing away." In other words, Paul was convinced that Jesus' return was imminent, like any day. And in light of the hope of Christ's coming again, Paul tells his readers that it's not worth building your whole life on assuming you'll get the storybook life--the kids and grandkids, the golden years of retirement, the white-picket fence, and all the rest of the cookie-cutter picture. We aren't guaranteed that, and in fact, our hope as Christians in Christ's coming again means we dare to live our lives toward a better goal and a bigger hope than just a comfortable life in suburbia with matching his-and-hers towels. On the other hand, when you take the step of marrying someone, you have taken on considerable obligation to look out for another person's welfare, livelihood, and needs. And as he'll say in the next paragraph [which we'll look at tomorrow], when you are married, and especially if there are children in the picture, too, your life is pulled in more directions all at once, and sometimes it feels like being faithful to Jesus is runs in conflict with providing for a family.
For Paul, the hope of Christ's coming in glory reframes everything else in our lives. The desire to meet the Third Quarter Sales Quota just seems empty when you realize that our little piles of money won't last when God makes all things new. The social pressure to find someone to be your "Plus-One" at wedding receptions and parties doesn't seem so important in light of the promised gathering of all peoples to God's resurrection party that has no end. And for that matter, maybe trying to achieve the storybook life where Prince Charming marries the Princess seems a little trite in a world where others are starving or in need of housing. And if you are convinced that following Jesus means reaching out to help and care for those neighbors, near and far, yeah, in comparison, trying to manufacture the perfect, quaint domestic life from the magazine cover seems kind of shallow.
And it's all kind of like the "Do I buy milk or not?" question. Paul doesn't say that it's sinful or bad or wrong to get married or have a family. But he does want to see our lives in light of God's in-breaking kingdom, and to see how the hope of Christ's coming might affect our choices. For Paul, who literally thought Jesus would come again in his lifetime, it was a really hard case to say people should build their lives on marriages and children when Christ's coming would rearrange EVERYTHING. He's like the voice saying, "We're going on vacation in two days--are you really going to drink all that milk?" But he can also see that, yeah, maybe in some circumstances and for some people, it makes sense to be married and have that part of the human experience. For us, now some two thousand years later, we have a lot of experience of people who have lived, married, had children, gotten old, and spent their lives before Christ's return, and so for us our perspective is going to be different from Paul's. We need to live in that tension that Christ could come at any time--and yeah, our life plans might not go the way we expect if he comes tomorrow--and yet also live life right now as well and wisely as we can. For some people, it is going to make perfect sense for them to be married and raise families and all that. For others, it won't. What is worth noting here is that Paul, even for all his personal preferences and informed opinions, is still open to the possibility that not everyone has to do the same thing with their lives.
Sometimes we church folk would do well to remember that not every option in our lives can be reduced to a question of, "Is this sinful or not?" but rather that the right question is more like, "What is the wisest and best thing to do in my circumstances, even if that's not the same as what my neighbor does?" Knowing that Paul, with opinions of his own, is still able to say, "Here's my advice, but you might come to a different conclusion for your situation," gives us some direction, too, for our impulses to tell other people the "ONE RIGHT WAY" to do things sometimes.
Sometimes, after all, you buy the extra milk just before vacation... and sometimes, you don't.
Lord God, make us wise in our decisions, and keep all of our lives oriented around the hope of your coming to make all things new in Christ.
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