The End of Words--February 16, 2023

The End of Words--February 16, 2023

[Jesus said:] "Again you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, 'You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.  Let your word be 'Yes, Yes' or 'No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one." [Matthew 5:33-37]

Sometimes I forget that so much of what Jesus teaches us is about simply being who we are, authentically--no more and no less.  

Puffing ourselves up to be more than we are often spills out of our mouths as boastfulness, and squishing ourselves down in our minds tends to lead us to be envious of others who haven't been put through our mental shrinking machine.   And Jesus doesn't want either of those for us.  In fact, Jesus is sometimes the one lone voice in our lives who isn't trying to make us act like something we're not--if we just dare to listen.

Take these words from the Sermon on the Mount, which, again, many of us heard this past Sunday.  Here, Jesus sketches out concrete ways we can stop both overinflating and undervaluing ourselves, by simply being people who say what we mean.  The context seems to be the practice of swearing oaths or making vows that invoke God--things we still do today, every time a bailiff asks a witness, "Do you swear to tell the truth, so help you God?" or a preacher asks a couple, "Before God and these witnesses, will you take this person to be your spouse?" and in all sorts of other serious situations.  The idea, of course, is that if you are invoking God when you are speaking, you are more likely to be telling the truth--the underlying logic of an oath is that if you don't keep your word, fulfill your end of a transaction, or tell the truth, that the deity whom you have invoked will smite you for breaking the terms.  And I get it that we want to make sure, especially in matters of justice and faithfulness, that there's no wiggle room for loopholes, fine-print, or finger-crossing.

But as Jesus points out, when we pile up additional words to insist that THIS TIME, I'm really telling the truth, it does two things to distort who we really are.  For one, it has a way of overinflating our sense of self-importance that God would send a lightning bolt your way to zap you if it turns out you're not telling the truth.  When someone has to pile on extra words to insist that what they're telling you is real, it has a way of coming off as desperate and needy, like they need to feel more important and they've decided that persuading you will boost their ego.  So whether it's, "Swear to God, this is true..." or "People are telling me that... [without ever actually naming who these people are]" or "THEY won't tell you this, but I'm going to tell you how it REALLY is..." [insinuating that nobody else is reliable] or whatever other variations get thrown at us, it's all just a ploy to overinflate the power of your words.  And at the very same time, when you make a habit of having to add hype to what you say like that, it also sends the message that the rest of the time, you aren't reliable, or your words don't have the weight of truth behind them.  And we end up needing to find more and more outlandish ways to grab people's attention with our words--almost like the way the value of money decrease by the effect of inflation.  Just like there comes a point when the same dollar won't buy as much because prices have gone up, there comes a point where our words don't have the same power to communicate, inform, or persuade, because we've overinflated them.  And Jesus sees that genuine love knows better than to play that game in the first place.

So Jesus' alternative is simple and brilliant: what if we were people who were simply known for being reliable all the time, because we really spoke the truth, without having to dress it up on special occasions with an oath, a vow, or any other rhetorical embellishments?  What if we were the kind of people such that when we say "Yes," people know that we mean, "Yes," and when we say "No," we mean "No"?  What if we didn't play games with our words to make ourselves sound better, or those we don't like sound worse?  What if people didn't have to ask if there were little unspoken asterisks along with our words every time we spoke, because they knew that we weren't trying to trick, manipulate, con, or hoodwink anyone?

And honestly, something amazing happens when we make a practice of doing what Jesus says here.  First, we find over time that our relationships, from close friends and family to coworkers to more distant acquaintances, get stronger, because people just come to know us as truthful and dependable--not people who need to take extra steps to insist we're being truthful THIS time.  Second, we discover that we don't need to spend nearly so much time or energy focused on what other people think of us--we just don't have to expend the stress over it, because we're just going to be authentic wherever we go and whatever we do.  This is like that old line that genuine humility isn't "thinking less of yourself," but rather "thinking of yourself less"--in other words, you just don't have to be nearly so focused dwelling on your appearance, reputation, or influence because you're not obsessed with yourself. And third, we come to see the power--and the limits--of human speech.  Like Jesus says here, my saying so can't change one hair on my head, and being honest about that frees me to use words wisely without making them do things they cannot do.  Jesus brings us to the end of words in that sense--he shows us that there are things beyond the power of language, and that we don't have to try to use words to make ourselves more important or notable, because again, we are beloved already as we are.  And when you start from a place of knowing that you are loved by God already just as you are, you don't have to pretend to be something you're not or boost your ego by straining to get other people's approval or attention.

Today, then, our calling is to quit pretending, making more out of ourselves or belittling ourselves, with the ways we use words.  Today can begin, if need be, a new chapter in our lives, where we are comfortable enough in our own skin that we don't have to puff ourselves up or beat ourselves down with our words.  We can be authentically us--the people God has made us to be, and the people whom Jesus already loves.  

That sounds amazingly freeing to me.

Lord Jesus, remind us of your love for us so that we don't need to try and get more attention or approval from others in puffed up words.