The Grudge-less God--February 22, 2023

The Grudge-less God--February 22, 2023

"In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us. So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." [2 Corinthians 5:19-20]

There is a certain terrible pleasure you can get from holding onto a grudge--and amazingly, God has apparently decided to forgo that particular delight forever.  God has decided already to reconcile with the whole world through Christ--no grudges, no passive-aggressive silent treatment, and no malice from on high.

I don't know that I've really ever given enough thought to just how truly radical an idea that is, because to be honest, I can have a really hard time letting go of old wounds and resentments. There is, as I say, a strange pleasure in holding onto our feelings of being wronged and not letting someone off the hook... of refusing the chance to forgive or be forgiven... of denying someone else the relief of hearing you say, "We are ok again."  And once we get used to holding those resentments, our spiritual muscle memory can make it hard to release them at all.  I'm reminded of a line from Marilynne Robinson's novel Gilead, where the narrator says, "I have always liked the phrase 'nursing a grudge' because many people are tender of their resentments as of the things nearest to their hearts."  We do have a way of holding those hurts in close and refusing to let them be healed... sometimes because we know it will be uncomfortable to release them.  Like James Baldwin says, "I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain." And wow--if that isn't a word all by itself right there...

So there's one of the ugly truths about ourselves: we hold onto the hard feelings and estrangements we have with other people, like a splinter we are too afraid to pull out for the pain we anticipate, and we don't realize how much worse we are making it by not dealing with those grudges.  It is such an easy trap to fall in that it almost seems inescapable.  And yet, here is the promise from the Scripture, part of the lead-up to one of the passages we'll hear tonight in worship for Ash Wednesday, and here the apostle Paul saying that God doesn't hold those grudges like we do.  God has refused to hold them altogether, and God has already reconciled with us in Christ--with the whole world, in fact.

And what amazes me is that, if anyone in the universe has a right to feel wronged, it's God.  If anyone is in a position to hold grudges against us, it's the One we can't hold grudges again because God doesn't sin against us... and yet God has chosen not to play that game.  If there is anyone who is truly able to play the role of "holier-than-thou" without being a hypocrite, it is the literal Holy One, the Living God--and yet, to hear the Scriptures tell it, God has already decided to reconcile with the entire world rather than hold our sins against us anymore.  

That's how God's love works--it does not depend on our coming to the altar with our tails between our legs well enough, or our ability to say "sorry" a million times until we "mean" it.  God's love refuses the way grudge-holding makes us arrogant.  God's love refuses to take a position of lording over us and holding our mess-ups against us, but has begun already to embrace us, even the whole world full of us.

And as Paul tells it, that reframes our mission as Christians, too--and pretty dramatically at that.  Our job is not to tell the world, "You better do these five things to get yourself right with God--or else!"  or some version of selling the faith to potential customers like the gospel is heavenly fire insurance. The news of the gospel is not, "You must feel or show a certain amount of pious sorrow and correct faith to move the needle enough to make Jesus let go of the grudges he's holding against you," but rather, as Paul tells it, "God has already reconciled with the world from God's side in Jesus; the estrangement is over, no grudges are being held to be weaponized when you least expect it.  All I can ask of you is to believe it's true."

If all that is true--and again, to hear the Scripture tell it, it is the literal gospel truth--then we don't get to put ourselves in that arrogant role of nursing grudges or holier-than-thou-ing the world, either.  We aren't sent into the world dangling a bottle of water to thirsty and threadbare travelers in the desert saying, "If only you'll do the following things, then you can have a taste," but rather, "Here's the free water that God has already given to you; I know every other voice in the world is telling you it can't be free, but it is, and it's yours for the taking already."  We don't get to be the arrogant ones thinking we've been appointed God's gatekeepers who determine who is, or is not, worthy of access to the divine; we have been sent as ambassadors to announce that God has already welcomed everybody and reconciled the whole world in Christ.  Wow, that is so different from the haughty faux-holiness that a lot of us have heard preached in the name of Jesus, isn't it?

Today, especially as the day we begin the season of Lent, is a day to remember all of that. When we gather to name our sins, to publicly enact rituals of repentance, and to take on a renewed focus on spiritual renewal and recommitment, it can be VERY easy to make all of that a show of our supposedly devout faith that is really about feeding our own egos and giving us permission to hold other people's sins against them [you know, because they just aren't as "spiritual" as we are...].  Let's be clear about what today, the next forty days, and all of our lives are really about--it's the news from God that God has already reconciled with us in Christ, and the most we can do is, in response to that love, stop being jerks to each other because Jesus' love is shaping us into his own likeness.

When we are clear on that, today isn't a sad or somber day--maybe it's the first honest and free day we've had in a while.

Lord Jesus, make us over in your love, and pull us down from the pedestals we keep hoisting ourselves up onto.