"In Case This Is Goodbye"--October 23, 2019

"In Case This Is Goodbye..."--October 23, 2019

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you." [Philippians 4:8-9]

What do you say to someone when it's time to say goodbye?  

What do you make sure to leave somebody else with, whether they are just walking out the door at the start of the workday, or walking out of your life for the last time?  What do you want to make sure you leave with people?  And what do you do when you just don't know if the goodbye and farewell you are speaking is just until the end of the day, or will last until the end of your lifetime?

I ask because, honestly, every day is full of those kinds of partings. Sometimes we say goodbyes that are just until the other side of the day, and they sound like, "See you when you get home!"  Sometimes they are the last farewells we speak to someone who is dying, and you know when you walk out the door or they shut their eyes, it will have been the last conversation you get this side of glory.  Sometimes you don't know what unexpected thing will turn a "See you later" into a last goodbye, too--it can be the spouse who leaves the "I'm leaving you" letter to be found after they have left, or the blow-up that unexpectedly ends a friendship or hobbles it so that it is never as close as it was before, or the tragic accident that takes a life when you had been expecting to see one another as usual.  The circumstances are many, but the experience of saying goodbye is part of our common everyday life.  Temporary or final, goodbyes are an ordinary part of life.

And that makes it worth it for us to consider what we do with those hand-on-the-door moments, when we part company from one another, whether we end up getting to see the other person and life goes on as usual with the same closeness you had known, or whether your paths never cross again this side of glory.  It's worth considering how we take our lives from one another... in case this is goodbye.

I had a long car ride by myself not long ago, and I happened to have my CD of 90s R&B group BoyzIIMen in the car stereo (it was a mid-90s flashback drive, I'll tell you that).  And as I heard the voices in harmony sing the words of a song I had not really listened to in decades, I heard connections to these words of Paul from Philippians.  In their wistful song, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," the quartet sings, "And I'll take with me the memories to bring my sunshine out of the rain... it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday." That's really where Paul is as he gets to the last few thoughts in his letter to his friends from Philippi.  Paul had really loved the people in this congregation--he calls them "my joy and my crown" elsewhere in the letter, and he knows they have had his back in some really difficult times in their shared past.  But now as he writes to them from house arrest in Rome awaiting trial before Caesar, he doesn't know if he's ever going to get the chance to talk with them again.  Earlier in the letter, Paul talks about not knowing whether he would rather keep living so he can be "useful" to these friends of his, or whether he is ready to just be done and go to be with Jesus.  And while Paul seems to think that he's going to be released from his imprisonment and get to see his friends in Philippi again, it's actually most likely historically that this letter was one of Paul's last, and that he didn't get to see those dear friends again in this life.  An honest assessment of the data suggests that when Paul did get his trial not long after penning this letter, he was put to death by the Empire--most likely for charges of treason or sedition or disturbing the peace because he would not give his allegiance to Caesar.  In other words, as Paul wrote this letter and got close to the end of what he had to say, he seems to have thought that he would get the chance to talk with the Philippians again, but he didn't know for sure.  So he offers words to his dear friends in case this is goodbye.

The shadow of the executioner's blade hangs over Paul's sentence that starts, "Finally, beloved..."  And what seems important to me on a day like today is that Paul offers guidance that applies either way--whether Paul was days away from a death sentence or whether he got to see them again.  Paul's hand-on-the-door message for these people he has come to love is simply, "Whatever was good in what we had--hold onto that."  He says to them that whatever they saw in him that was worth following, just keep following that example.  If there was any place they saw Christ in him, he says, basically, just keep doing that.  And whatever they have shared that was good or pure or decent, to set their minds and hearts there.  

He doesn't say this to puff up his own memory or polish his legacy in case this really is the last time he'll talk with them.  He simply means it as a direction for how they will all keep on keeping on.  The Philippians are going to need to keep living their lives, regardless of how soon or distantly they get to hear from Paul again. (And remember, even if he did keep living for a long time, these people were all communicating by hand-delivered letter across hundreds of miles traveled on foot or by sailing ship.  This was not like a text message conversation.)  So regardless of how long or short it is until they see one another or hear from one another again, Paul's counsel is meant to be for living out ordinary life.  This isn't Paul giving his own eulogy--it is a plan for facing everyday situations, whether he is in the picture or not.

Whatever is good, whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is excellent, and whatever has shown us the face of Christ, let that be our North Star.  That's Paul's direction for his friends, and we can borrow it, too.  On a day like today, we never really know whether we'll get to see one another again.  Life is funny that way.  We are not hopeless even with that uncertainty, because we are people of resurrection hope.  And we dare to believe that the living God can not only overcome the separation brought by death, but also the separations brought by estrangement, distance, disagreements, and whatever other things can come up in a day.  And because of that, we can spend this day with purpose, focusing our minds on whatever is good, and following the examples of those who have shown us the face of Christ in their lives, however long or short we have had with them.

We never really know at the end of any conversation when we'll get to speak again, and when we are unknowingly saying goodbye.  So it's worth being graceful to everyone, all the time.  And it's worth looking at the people God has brought into our lives, for however long we have had with them, to see where we were giving glimpses of Christ there... and to hold onto that.

In case this is goodbye, let us look for where we have seen Christ in each other.

Lord Jesus, watch between us all while we are absent, one from another.